This lockdown and this social distancing are acting tough on people. A lot of people are feeling strange, depressed, and meh. We are watching Netflix and killing time. Some are going through all the productivity hacks in the world and want to use this lockdown time to “improve”, themselves, be more productive, etc. I have also tried doing it. But frankly, it has not worked for me. There are days when I just sit and do nothing, no Netflix, no learning a new language just doing nothing. Sitting like this started making me feel that I am wasting this time and not doing something good, not improving myself or starting something new. I am just wasting time. I got really worried about this. I write a blog and from the time lockdown has started I have not even written a single line. I read a lot of books. But since the last couple of months, I have been very inconsistent in reading as well. And it is not that I don’t have time. I am just not doing it. Though this constant badger to improve myself, be productive, etc. is always going at the back of my mind, but much of the days I did not even move.
I like working. I can be easily identified as a workaholic. But even this could not push me to do anything beyond my usual office work. I have always had a few side projects running that challenge me and keep me on my toes. And this pandemic looks like a massive opportunity to me. It has opened up so many new distribution channels, new sectors, and new ways of doing things, etc. It is easy to find an area of interest and start a side project that can actually solve a problem. Yet I did not start anything. I just sat.
And one day I decided I need to get away from all this chatter around improving yourself, being more productive, learning something during this time, etc. I just wanted to be. I felt overwhelmed by this rhetoric. And hence I decided I would just stick to the basics and do what I can do. Just try for once to be kind to my self.
Below is what I am doing:
1. I love my work and whatever I have on my plate I do it the best I can.
2. I have learned to be happy just sitting on my sofa and doing nothing.
3. I am fine doing housework and helping my mom. I have not done it in a decade.
4. Running is my exercise routine and sometimes yoga. I am not overwhelming myself with the deluge of apps that gives you live lessons on exercising, mental health, etc. And yes doing housework takes care of so much of your exercise.
5. Meditation. Just learning to breathe deeply.
6. Trying to keep away from twitter, podcasts, and of course webinars. I don’t want to learn I want to apply what I already know.
7. I am okay with not even reading books, something which I have done for years now, and enjoy.
8. Play cards (real cards) and take care of my plants. I am fine with not learning anything new. I would rather pick up things which I had done during my childhood and had given up a long time ago due to lack of time or whatever excuse I could find.
But once in a while I still have this urge to utilize my time in the ‘right way’ and I start feeling anxious. I don’t know what is the right way so I just take a day at a time. I am sure the right way will come across in due course of time.